Meet Superstar Cat Johnny:


Johnny is one dang ambitious celebrity cat.

Meet cat superstar Johnny, a charismatic Thai kitty on the verge of international stardom. Johnny, who played himself last year in what we assume was a hilarious and heartwarming film, claims to be the first cat with a bank account.  He clearly needs good cash-flow with his jet-set lifestyle and spendy ways.


Here Johnny is opening his bank account, which he claims is a feline first. Johnny is “notorious for dressing like disgraced bling-bling monk ‘Luang Pu Nen Kham,’” according to the Coconuts Bangkok website.

Johnny was recently caught skinny-dipping naked on a beach vacation. Doesn’t he know those beaches are positively infested with paparazzi just waiting to get priceless pics like this? The whole thing stinks of a publicity stunt carefully executed to get Johnny more international attention. Well, it worked, because who can take their eyes off the sleek stylish short-hair with the million dollar gaze?

Kitty vacay or publicity coup? You decide.

Kitty vacay or publicity coup? You decide.

So far Thailand has kept this fabulous feline talent to itself, but they can’t hold a cat like Johnny to themselves for long. We may know next to nothing about him, but it only takes a short glance to see that this is one hot, ambitious, talented house cat. By the way, we have the
Coconuts Bangkok site to thank for the little we do know about Johnny super-cat.

So for now, superstar cat Johnny remains an enigma, a mysterious stranger to the West. If anyone can share any information about who he is, who he sleeps with, his next project, etc., we’re ready to pay very handsomely in catnip for these kinds of tasty details.

Happy hug your cat day, but Johnny prefers if you buy him a shot instead.

Happy hug your cat day, but Johnny prefers if you buy him a shot instead.

Categories: cats, celebrities, humor, humour | Leave a comment

These Cat Criminals Defy Prison Walls AND Stereotypes


This cat was caught smuggling contraband into prison. He was later released.

The difference between cats and dogs is clear when it comes to law enforcement.  Cops have dogs, and criminals have cats. Recent news stories suggest that cat crime is something to watch.

Today’s feline felons have found a niche in countries where, apparently, cats are allowed to roam in and out of the prisons any old time they want. Kitties have now been busted smuggling contraband into high security prisons in Russia, Eastern Europe, and beyond.

An astute guard earlier this year at Brazil’s Romero Nobrega prison noticed a cat entering the cell block wearing a little jacket that seemed suspicious. Upon pat-down, the jacket was found to contain no less than four cell phones.

In 2013, a Moldovan cat was detained for smuggling cannabis into prison using a special collar that caught a wary guard’s eye. That’s according to, who also reported that one prison had caught a cat attempting to enter their compound with a saw and drill taped to its body. Now that’s brazen!

Technical questions aside (like, how??), you have to wonder what happens to the cats caught red-handed. The fate of these mules and couriers isn’t always clear. However, in the case of the Moldovan kitty, it was released on its own recognizance. Can you say “kitty sting operation”?

So far the cat prison crime wave hasn’t reached the U.S., where cats are generally not allowed to flit in and out of death row, etc. Nonetheless, the criminal-cat connection here is not a question of ‘when’ so much as ‘why?’

Last month, a Virginia television station reported that a Mexican national escaped custody by putting his GPS ankle device on his cat. It was obviously cruel, since the device had a loud alert sound and the authorities took days to show up. What’s amazing here is that an alleged hardened drug dealer from Mexico even has a cat. That really goes against all the cat-person stereotypes.

In conclusion, these criminals are dirty rotten scoundrels to recruit innocent-ish cats to their illegal activities. Cats can be criminal masterminds when badly influenced by the wrong people.  Nonetheless, some cat criminals still have too much conscience for a freewheeling life of crime.  I’m sure this cat from New York isn’t the first kitty convict to walk into the police station and turn himself in.


“K-9 your job is mine.” Reformed cat criminals make the best police cats.

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Self Help for Cats Featured on Pet Parade

The self-help cats are very excited to be the week’s featured favorite at the Pet Parade Blog Hop! We graciously accept this sweet recognition from our cat and dog bloggin’ peers. This is the first award of any kind that the Self Help for Cats site has won, so thanks Rascal and Rocco and friends.

–The Editors

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The Most Advanced Pet Comm the World Has Ever Seen?

scout 5000

Thanks to the Motorola Scout, your dog’s privacy is history.

It’s not as exciting as say a 3D compost-heap printer, but pet tech is slowly moving beyond the twin poles of boring and/or foolish. Today’s gadget-loving cats and dogs have choices, more choices for dogs than cats, mind you.

Take the bleeding-edge Motorola Scout 500-2, for example, perhaps the most advanced pet comm the world has ever seen (that is, until the Scout 5000 is released!). Too bad this collar-based video cam with two-way communication is too large and clunky for a cat, or even a small dog. (Our editors are willing to overlook that problem, however, as long as the manufacturers correct it immediately.)

Filling the vast space between baby monitor and electric fence, the Scout 500-2 is a monitoring marvel that even has night vision (for the camera, not the pooch). Your dog’s privacy is history, as you watch whatever he does from a 520 foot radius. Continue reading

Categories: cat v. dog, news, products | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

What the Dog Tweets: First Gen Wearable Pet Tech Begs for Second Gen

One day when you look at the “Puppy Tweets Blue” it will be like looking at one of those cell phones that are as big as a brick.

This device came out around 2010, which some dog-lovers eagerly awaited. Unfortunately, it was too large for most dogs to wear comfortably, so forget about putting this thing on your cat. Even worse, online reviewers panned it, mainly because it was too dumb for words. All the dogs seemed to tweet the same stupid puns, and many dogs tweeted more often when they weren’t wearing the device.

One clever purchaser discovered you could go in and change what the dog tweets. With the right hack, this application seems to have potential. But for most reviewers, “Puppy Tweets Blue” was nothing to tweet home about. It’s still available for sale at Amazon, and it’s only competition is “Puppy Tweets Pink.”

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New, Improved Ways for Cats to Get in Trouble


This is the tail of a Cairo cat stuck behind a subway wall for FIVE YEARS.

Cats are finding new ways to get themselves in trouble, and they are improving on old forms of trouble as well. Here’s just a few examples, and please feel free to share your own:

–A Florida cat recently found himself stuck inside an SUV tail light compartment, a feat most of us would have thought impossible. The alert driver noticed something was up when she saw a tail sticking out of her tail light. Nearby humans scrambled to rescue the shy stray, which took all of their big brains to figure out. Eventually kitty was freed, and is looking for a new home as of the latest report.

–In an even more-bizarre story, a cat in Cairo was freed last month from being stuck behind a subway wall for five years! The wall was built with the cat inside it, or the cat grew, or Continue reading

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Crafty people make cat paradise on a budget

reddit cat house

We can’t all afford to hire the latest greatest hot shot cat architect or to tear down the house to build a cat palace.  Fortunately, making a cat paradise isn’t out of reach of mortal humans on a budget.  Working with the house he had on hand, this one crafty cat-saver created an interactive cat wall with an over-door bridge/hammock. You don’t see that kind of handiwork everyday.

More great pics and details at

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World’s Longest Cat?


Either this cat has 16 legs, or he just photobombed the panoramic shot.

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Cat wins “Most Awful Sleeping Face in Japan”

The winning photo speaks for itself. That Japan has this contest is inscrutable.

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Cat Meet Celt: Irish Cat Drinking Songs in Your Email

Is is too good to be true? IT IS NOT!

We can again thank the internet for bringing us Cat Drinking Songs fresh as a morning spring in your email.  Celebrate the Irish today with these delightful tunes of cats to drink by, even if your cat is on the wagon. But how can you enjoy Cat Drinking Songs from the comfort of home without running into any drunk kittens on the road?

Simply go to, sign up for their newsletter, Cat Drinking Tails, and you will receive instant classics like When Kitty Eyes Are Smiling and Lord of the Pounce. Does it get any better than this??

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