cat v. dog

The Most Advanced Pet Comm the World Has Ever Seen?

scout 5000

Thanks to the Motorola Scout, your dog’s privacy is history.

It’s not as exciting as say a 3D compost-heap printer, but pet tech is slowly moving beyond the twin poles of boring and/or foolish. Today’s gadget-loving cats and dogs have choices, more choices for dogs than cats, mind you.

Take the bleeding-edge Motorola Scout 500-2, for example, perhaps the most advanced pet comm the world has ever seen (that is, until the Scout 5000 is released!). Too bad this collar-based video cam with two-way communication is too large and clunky for a cat, or even a small dog. (Our editors are willing to overlook that problem, however, as long as the manufacturers correct it immediately.)

Filling the vast space between baby monitor and electric fence, the Scout 500-2 is a monitoring marvel that even has night vision (for the camera, not the pooch). Your dog’s privacy is history, as you watch whatever he does from a 520 foot radius. Continue reading

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When life deals you a dog

600px-cat-and-dog-togetherNot every cat has the pleasure of another cat’s company. Some cats actually are forced to live with and thus tolerate dogs. And then there are those cats who go the extra mile and actually bridge the cat-dog chasm to become friends (at least as far as we can tell).  These pioneering pets are bringing new meaning to man’s (sic) menagerie. Soon our pets will have their own pets, besides us, that is. You go kitties, and in case you need some help, you can find some great tips and pics like these over at Catster:

6 Ways to Help Your Cats and Dogs Become Fast Friends: via @catster


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I’ll be in my Egg

I'll be in my Egg

Don’t bother me, I’m hibernating in my high-concept fashion bed, AKA my egg. Fortunately, the dog doesn’t have the juevos to enter this ovum. If he tries, I will make sure there will be egg on his snout. He’ll be the yoke of the neighborhood.

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Why Dogs are Pussies

Nothing generates traffic like some good old-fashioned controversy.  That’s why today our topic is “Why Dogs are Pussies.”

It’s true, at Self Help for Cats, we have a big tortilla-like chip on our shoulders about dogs. It’s not that dogs aren’t tolerable in their own loud, slobbering, drooly way. Dogs are okay; we’re not saying dogs need to go. Dogs have their place, and it’s not at our place. It’s just, what is so freaken special about dogs?

Everywhere you go, it’s always dogs, dogs, dogs!  Sausage dogs, pony dogs, hot dogs. Dogs in bike carts. Dogs who read to children.  Dogs who change diapers. Dogs who sail to Ireland. Dogs, dogs, and dogs’ dogs!

At Self Help for Cats, we’ve had it up to HERE with all the dogs. Cats are tired of being placed second behind these noisy, subservient animals (where we often get hit by their dumb, pummeling tails). Everyone thinks so much about dogs. But the fact is, dogs are obvious. Dogs are easy.

It’s not our job to judge here at Self Help for Cats. As perfect spiritual beings, cats understand that love and acceptance is the best approach to our less-complex brothers and sisters, the other creatures. It’s all good. Because when you boil everything down, we are each of us an integral part of the great feline-in-the-sky. And that, friend, is the major reason why we say, “dogs are pussies.”

It’s a compliment.

Categories: cat v. dog, opinion, philosophy, PR | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

What the World Needs Now … Is Another Dog Park

What the World Needs Is Another Dog Park

Oakland was recently named a top ten city to have a dog by something called Nerdwallet. With Oakland city leaders again deliberating on yet another city dog park at last night’s council meeting, it’s no wonder Oakland dogs feel it’s their day in their town!

What will it take for cats to get anything approaching what the dogs already have? Dogs right now enjoy five different dog parks in Oakland, and cats don’t even have so much as a duck pond where they can kick back and chill out.

We’re keeping an eye on this story here at Self Help for Cats.  Read more in our earlier story at

Categories: cat v. dog, lifestyle, news, recreation, travel | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

I said soon!!!

I said soon!!!

Emotions are running high as the Self Help for Cats staff work night and day applying the final finishing touches on our first book, Time Management for Cats.

The entire Self Help for Cat organization is happy to nearly have this one done. As you can see, the editor is getting grumpy!

Categories: anxiety, books, cat v. dog, cats, fashion, humor, humour, jobs & careers, products, the book | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Dogs Have Them, So Where Are Our Public Cat Parks?

At the city cat park, cats will meet to "cruise and socialize." Some say the park will "attract" children.

At the city cat park, cats will meet to “cruise and socialize.” Some say the park will “attract” children.

Dog parks, schmog parks.  What about the cat parks, people? In feline-forward Oakland, CA (home base for the entire Self Help for Cats empire), cat-activists are asking  just that. This dog-happy hamlet offers its city-bound canines no less than FIVE DOG PARKS in which to frisk about and catch frisbees. Meanwhile, the local cat population suffers without so much as a sidewalk strip dedicated to their pure, dog-free enjoyment.

This and other inequalities were recently brought to Oakland city leaders’ attention by Chairman Meow, spokes-human of a group that calls itself Ay Gato!, “the Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Cat Army’s nonviolence front group.” In a statement apparently read to city council, Chairman Meow said the group envisions, “a cat play area with large sandboxes, bird and rodent habitat, trees for climbing,” etc.

In another statement, these cat visionaries assert: “Building a cat park at Lake Merritt would provide cat owners with a lovely opportunity to teach our cats to swim in the lake and bike the area.  Dogs aren’t even litter trained!”

The group has an open Facebook page, so you too could become a member at:

Categories: architecture, cat v. dog, cats, culture, design, entertainment, humor, humour, life, lifestyle, musings, news, our moments, outdoors, play, politics, PR, random, relationships, synergy, travel | Leave a comment

Herman’s Healing Faster Than a Horse!

Can cats break their legs?  They sure can.  And when they do, at least they heal better than dogs and horses.

Understand, I’m always trying to find the bright side of things.  To me, discovering another way in which cats are superior to dogs is a real “silver lining” in all of these weekly vet visits and heeping vet bills.

Yes, my own little Herman Panther broke his right front leg in a cat fight in our new backyard in late June.  Herman has other health issues that suddenly popped up this year as well.  So many in fact that more than one human has said it may be time to pull Herman’s plug, a thought both me and my partner find dastardly.

Herman himself is not at all in favor of it, clearly maintaining a strong will to live and eat, at least most of the time.  It didn’t help that both kitties seemed to get ill from some new food in recent weeks.  We read online the company had some recalls last Spring that were questionably handled, a reminder that you can never be too careful.  Fortunately, both cats are both doing better since going back to the old food.

It’s been a couple of months since his cat fight, but Herman is finally on the mend thanks to the great doctors at Broadway Pet Hospital in Oakland who never gave up on him.  He’s still in his cast and our house remains dismantled of anything he might jump on (which considering I live in cat jungle gym is pretty darn dismantled).  But maybe he’ll get his cast off this month!

Herman may not be healing any faster than a dog as it turns out, but he’s still healing way faster than a horse.

Categories: cat v. dog, cats, health, Herman, humor, humour, products | 1 Comment

How I Became a Kitty Prison Guard

The Call of the Wild isn’t the strongest in Oakland. If you listen hard enough, it sounds like a faint peep.

Even back in the day, Jack London’s dog had to leave town to get a convincing earful.  But what can you expect of a big slobbering dog?  Housecats are by nature more attuned to the summoning sounds of unleashed freedom.  They can hear it in virtually anything, from the door creaking open to the littlest cry of the smallest nuthatch or chickadee. Continue reading

Categories: cat v. dog, cats, lifestyle, outdoors, philosophy, relationships, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Got a License to Cat?

In East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, there’s a lot of cats.  How many cats? Well, this sentence from the local paper might illustrate:

According to [animal control], scenes of cats roaming around town are more than a usual occurrence in East Longmeadow.

Yes, those roaming-cat scenes, played out more than usually.  Wait, what?  More than usual, for what?  Who is to say what a usual occurrence of roaming-cat scenes is?  What does this tortured sentence mean, and is it going to lead to other tortured sentences, like kitty behind bars?

Okay, sure, this is a serious topic.  All kitties need to get their shots, I suppose, whether they be Tommy B. Homekitty or Felicity Free-Me-or-I’ll Freak Feral.  But if the Universe had meant for kitty to need a license, couldn’t it have furnished him with a neat little back pocket? 

Anyway, animal licenses are so dog.   If we start licensing cats, I think we need to find a way to felinize the entire process.  I’m not sure what that would look like, but the best minds of our generation should be able to come up with something.

Categories: cat v. dog, cats, humor, humour, lifestyle, news | Tags: | Leave a comment

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