relationships

Cats & Christmas: The Evergreen Challenge

cat-in-christmas-tree

Here’s a holiday classic post and a perrenial favorite from Self Help for Cats. Merry merry!

Picture a quiet night by the Christmas tree. You sink into your comfy recliner and think about how nice it is to feel so relaxed, and then, wait, what’s that?  The Christmas tree starts to shake violently, all the baubles banging and clanging. “What the hell?” you blurt!  The tree is absolutely possessed.  Like at any moment it could split open and give birth to the alien.

You stare deeper through the pine needles and the tinsel and something is –staring back!  Then you recognize it.  That’s not the alien glaring back at you;  It’s the very wide eyes of your cat having the closest thing to a back-to-the-wild experience he is ever going to have in your living room. Continue reading

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Categories: cats, decorating tips, humor, humour, lifestyle, play, relationships | 4 Comments

Is Your Vet a Vampire? Can Cats Become Zombies?

veterinarian_vampire_by_night_t_shirts-rb9c37eeef1d943eba231e835521fb450_804gy_512

Every single time I take my cats to the vet, the first thing they want is a blood test, even if the cat just had one. How suspicious! They aren’t even trying to hide it, but they can’t slip this by me.  These guys love cat blood!

Veterinarians love to take blood just as much as vampires, it’s a fact. They say it’s to see what’s wrong with your cat. Sure.  But do the math. A lot of time you think it through and you really don’t need that $150 to $500 blood test. It’s like the ultimate knee jerk reaction for a vet to suck your (cat’s) blood.

The blood taking is bad enough, but the vets don’t stop there. When your cat gets a little sick for the first time in its life and has one or two bad days, the vet tells you it’s time “to have that end-of-life discussion.”

I would understand if it was me. After a day or two of feeling sick, I’m all for calling Dr. Death or whoever. Unfortunately, my own doctor thinks I have a tendency to jump the gun on this. Apparently I’m expected to suffer through the flu and live another day.

Not so for my cat. At the first sign on difficulty, it’s time to have That conversation about end of life. The problem is, I’m far more attached to my cat’s life than I am to even my own. I’m not ready for the Vampire Vets to whisk him off at the first sign of trouble. Unless, of course, they can turn him into a zombie.

If my cat were a zombie I feel this could be the best of both worlds. No more getting sick or fending off blood-thirsty veterinarians. No more little cans of dead pigs and things. Just my little urchin giving me all the cat zombie love I ever wanted. So it’s a big yes for Zombie Cat, and a big no for Vampire Vets.

Categories: health, musings, relationships | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

When life deals you a dog

600px-cat-and-dog-togetherNot every cat has the pleasure of another cat’s company. Some cats actually are forced to live with and thus tolerate dogs. And then there are those cats who go the extra mile and actually bridge the cat-dog chasm to become friends (at least as far as we can tell).  These pioneering pets are bringing new meaning to man’s (sic) menagerie. Soon our pets will have their own pets, besides us, that is. You go kitties, and in case you need some help, you can find some great tips and pics like these over at Catster:

6 Ways to Help Your Cats and Dogs Become Fast Friends: http://www.catster.com/lifestyle/dogs-cats-friends-friendship via @catster

600px-puppy-and-cat

Categories: advice, cat v. dog, relationships | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Just Read My Socks

cat sox

 

Socks are already one of your cat’s favorite pieces of you.  Now your socks can really say something about who you are. Your cats will be so proud of your crazy cat lady pride, they may promise not to maul this pair.

http://www.neatorama.com/2013/09/01/You-Say-Crazy-Cat-Lady-Like-Its-A-Bad-Thing-Socks/#!iaXnm

Categories: fashion, philosophy, products, relationships | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Help: My cat likes to dress like a fish

pisces cat

Either this cat is the latest knit-bomb victim, or you have a real mer-cat wannabe on your hands. In either case, if your cat enjoys (or at least doesn’t mind) dressing up like a fish or whatever, it seems like good, clean-enough fun to me. Kitty’s just trying to let his freedom fin fly.

I say go for it, Pisces!  You only live like nine times.

Categories: advice, fashion, halloween, life, lifestyle, play, random, relationships, synergy, tips | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Dogs Have Them, So Where Are Our Public Cat Parks?

At the city cat park, cats will meet to "cruise and socialize." Some say the park will "attract" children.

At the city cat park, cats will meet to “cruise and socialize.” Some say the park will “attract” children.

Dog parks, schmog parks.  What about the cat parks, people? In feline-forward Oakland, CA (home base for the entire Self Help for Cats empire), cat-activists are asking  just that. This dog-happy hamlet offers its city-bound canines no less than FIVE DOG PARKS in which to frisk about and catch frisbees. Meanwhile, the local cat population suffers without so much as a sidewalk strip dedicated to their pure, dog-free enjoyment.

This and other inequalities were recently brought to Oakland city leaders’ attention by Chairman Meow, spokes-human of a group that calls itself Ay Gato!, “the Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Cat Army’s nonviolence front group.” In a statement apparently read to city council, Chairman Meow said the group envisions, “a cat play area with large sandboxes, bird and rodent habitat, trees for climbing,” etc.

In another statement, these cat visionaries assert: “Building a cat park at Lake Merritt would provide cat owners with a lovely opportunity to teach our cats to swim in the lake and bike the area.  Dogs aren’t even litter trained!”

The group has an open Facebook page, so you too could become a member at:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/436048206462448

Categories: architecture, cat v. dog, cats, culture, design, entertainment, humor, humour, life, lifestyle, musings, news, our moments, outdoors, play, politics, PR, random, relationships, synergy, travel | Leave a comment

The Howling of Old Cats

Yesterday the vet told Hank, “Older cats do a lot of howling.”  No freaken kidding.

My cats used to be silent, back when they were younger and exercised their bodies and not just their vocal cords.  Now it’s like backstage at the opera house at any given hour of the day, and sometimes it starts to feel like a cat looney bin around here.

I’d like to know what on Earth gave my cats the green light to vocalize their incredible existential angst all the time?? Haven’t they noticed we humans may bitch and complain for a period of time, but we rarely emit the kind of death-moans that cats turn out like no tomorrow.

This morning, Brody thought 5 am was his cue for a solo aria of pathetic woe, presented not ten inches from my left ear. His true talent, however, lies in warbling through the apartment singing the cat blues to the world at large.  It’s not pretty.  It’s unnerving.  I can tune the cat out, but I can’t tune Hank out, and he can’t tune the cat out.  So I might as well not tune the cat out.

Life is thus made more anxious by anxious cats.  They pick up our anxiety and give it back in feedback-like feline warbling.  Sleep is ruined.  Mental peace, ruined.

And now to find the experts knew this would happen years ago.  It’s apparently a commonly known fact, older cats howl a lot.  What else did they fail to warn us about??

I swear younger cats should have to wear a label.  “May eventually emit brain-curdling noises throughout the night, leading to a reduction in complete well-being and brain power for any nearby humans.”

Categories: anxiety, Brody, cats, humor, humour, relationships, sleep | Leave a comment

Oxygen for Kitty

Breathe, kitty, breathe!!

This and other incredible critter pics at: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/incredible-photos-of-animals-from-2011

Categories: cats, news, relationships, synergy, technology | Leave a comment

How I Became a Kitty Prison Guard

The Call of the Wild isn’t the strongest in Oakland. If you listen hard enough, it sounds like a faint peep.

Even back in the day, Jack London’s dog had to leave town to get a convincing earful.  But what can you expect of a big slobbering dog?  Housecats are by nature more attuned to the summoning sounds of unleashed freedom.  They can hear it in virtually anything, from the door creaking open to the littlest cry of the smallest nuthatch or chickadee. Continue reading

Categories: cat v. dog, cats, lifestyle, outdoors, philosophy, relationships, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

The Cat Who Cried “MWAOWWWaaaOIIOOW!”

The blood-curdling howl ripped me from dream state, and I awoke knowing someone was doing something horrible to something else out there in the night.  Then it all snapped into place like two Legos and my feet flew out of bed bringing me along running with them.  It was five AM and I had to stop the painful sounds of torture — if not any actual torture itself.  I had to consider, what would the neighbors think?

Sure enough, I had awoken to the horrible sounds of another battle-supreme between the two cats who otherwise can’t get enough (sleep on top) of each other.  The “brothers” who are not related, the boys who fill our days with joys have lately become a troubled duo.  Call them Paul and John, they ain’t getting along, at least not all the time like they used to. Continue reading

Categories: anxiety, Brody, cats, health, Herman, humor, humour, relationships, sleep | 1 Comment

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