Just Read My Socks

cat sox


Socks are already one of your cat’s favorite pieces of you.  Now your socks can really say something about who you are. Your cats will be so proud of your crazy cat lady pride, they may promise not to maul this pair.!iaXnm

Categories: fashion, philosophy, products, relationships | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Why Dogs are Pussies

Nothing generates traffic like some good old-fashioned controversy.  That’s why today our topic is “Why Dogs are Pussies.”

It’s true, at Self Help for Cats, we have a big tortilla-like chip on our shoulders about dogs. It’s not that dogs aren’t tolerable in their own loud, slobbering, drooly way. Dogs are okay; we’re not saying dogs need to go. Dogs have their place, and it’s not at our place. It’s just, what is so freaken special about dogs?

Everywhere you go, it’s always dogs, dogs, dogs!  Sausage dogs, pony dogs, hot dogs. Dogs in bike carts. Dogs who read to children.  Dogs who change diapers. Dogs who sail to Ireland. Dogs, dogs, and dogs’ dogs!

At Self Help for Cats, we’ve had it up to HERE with all the dogs. Cats are tired of being placed second behind these noisy, subservient animals (where we often get hit by their dumb, pummeling tails). Everyone thinks so much about dogs. But the fact is, dogs are obvious. Dogs are easy.

It’s not our job to judge here at Self Help for Cats. As perfect spiritual beings, cats understand that love and acceptance is the best approach to our less-complex brothers and sisters, the other creatures. It’s all good. Because when you boil everything down, we are each of us an integral part of the great feline-in-the-sky. And that, friend, is the major reason why we say, “dogs are pussies.”

It’s a compliment.

Categories: cat v. dog, opinion, philosophy, PR | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

More Evidence All the Time of an Alternate Cat Universe

Screen-Shot-2012-10-21-at-21.46.16What if life is just a simulation? Scientists report that evidence is stacking up: This big monkey show may turn out to be some kind of mind-boggling virtual exercise.  And for what? No one knows. For all we know, our world is here for the pure entertainment of cats. Yes, our world may just be a big cat playground, where cats come to relax and forget about their universe, which is very high-tech and sophisticated, obviously. Then they put us to sleep and go back to run the real cat world, which is so demanding on them they require very distracting “pass times” (like us humans) to simply forget about it all, and really live!

Did I say, we may be “just” a simulation? With more evidence all the time of a parallel cat universe, I’d like to think I’m the only pet my cats would ever want — in any world.

Want to learn more about the reality of alternate cat universes? Scientists believe we may be able to test if life is a simulation or not.  If we are ready to know that sort of thing.

What about it?  Do you find signs that your cats are leading a double-parallel life in at least one alternate universe?  If so, please let us know here at Self Help for Cats, where we aim to be ground zero for the Alternate Cat Universe theory.



Categories: life, musings, news, philosophy, technology | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

How I Became a Kitty Prison Guard

The Call of the Wild isn’t the strongest in Oakland. If you listen hard enough, it sounds like a faint peep.

Even back in the day, Jack London’s dog had to leave town to get a convincing earful.  But what can you expect of a big slobbering dog?  Housecats are by nature more attuned to the summoning sounds of unleashed freedom.  They can hear it in virtually anything, from the door creaking open to the littlest cry of the smallest nuthatch or chickadee. Continue reading

Categories: cat v. dog, cats, lifestyle, outdoors, philosophy, relationships, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

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