humor

Herman’s Healing Faster Than a Horse!

Can cats break their legs?  They sure can.  And when they do, at least they heal better than dogs and horses.

Understand, I’m always trying to find the bright side of things.  To me, discovering another way in which cats are superior to dogs is a real “silver lining” in all of these weekly vet visits and heeping vet bills.

Yes, my own little Herman Panther broke his right front leg in a cat fight in our new backyard in late June.  Herman has other health issues that suddenly popped up this year as well.  So many in fact that more than one human has said it may be time to pull Herman’s plug, a thought both me and my partner find dastardly.

Herman himself is not at all in favor of it, clearly maintaining a strong will to live and eat, at least most of the time.  It didn’t help that both kitties seemed to get ill from some new food in recent weeks.  We read online the company had some recalls last Spring that were questionably handled, a reminder that you can never be too careful.  Fortunately, both cats are both doing better since going back to the old food.

It’s been a couple of months since his cat fight, but Herman is finally on the mend thanks to the great doctors at Broadway Pet Hospital in Oakland who never gave up on him.  He’s still in his cast and our house remains dismantled of anything he might jump on (which considering I live in cat jungle gym is pretty darn dismantled).  But maybe he’ll get his cast off this month!

Herman may not be healing any faster than a dog as it turns out, but he’s still healing way faster than a horse.

Categories: cat v. dog, cats, health, Herman, humor, humour, products | 1 Comment

Cat Camping Season Officially Opens

Campground Peacock Drops in to Shoot the Breeze

The Kitty Camping Season is officially off and running! The Association of Camping Kitties (ACK) has formally declared July as Cat Camping month.

ACK veterans like Brody and Herman need not be told.  They know it will soon be time, time to hide (aka “pack”) the leashes and break out the kitty barbeque set.

Send your humans to the outdoor store for the squeeter juice and cat GORP and get ready for the wildest, craziest camping trip of your cats’ lives.  It’s been a long, cold, hard winter, and we need some serious sleeping under the stars to try and forget it.

Ahh, the midnight meadow-mouse nature walks, the mornings blending into evenings lazing about in the tent, the visit from the campground peacock…

A Recent Midnight Meadow-Mouse Hike

These camping expeditions really revive kittys’ batteries for another relentless year of cat 9-to-5.

Categories: Brody, cats, Herman, humor, humour, lifestyle, news, outdoors, play, sleep, travel, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Cat Who Cried “MWAOWWWaaaOIIOOW!”

The blood-curdling howl ripped me from dream state, and I awoke knowing someone was doing something horrible to something else out there in the night.  Then it all snapped into place like two Legos and my feet flew out of bed bringing me along running with them.  It was five AM and I had to stop the painful sounds of torture — if not any actual torture itself.  I had to consider, what would the neighbors think?

Sure enough, I had awoken to the horrible sounds of another battle-supreme between the two cats who otherwise can’t get enough (sleep on top) of each other.  The “brothers” who are not related, the boys who fill our days with joys have lately become a troubled duo.  Call them Paul and John, they ain’t getting along, at least not all the time like they used to. Continue reading

Categories: anxiety, Brody, cats, health, Herman, humor, humour, relationships, sleep | 1 Comment

Cat Pee and Human Ingenuity: Some Things Refuse to Be Contained

Seeing as a large segment of my modest readership finds me care of “pooping outside the box” or similar cat search terms, I realize an update on the topic is in order. Let’s just say, it hasn’t been all wrapped-up pretty like a Martha Stewart episode.  Fact is, the Army Corps of Engineers would have a tough time containing my recent cat urine problems, and in case you were wondering, I don’t have an Army Corps of Engineers lying around to work on this urgent matter. What I have is one guy, and I call him Hank.   

Karmically, I believe Hank and I can trace our current problem back to an Abyssinian named Denial.  Continue reading

Categories: Brody, cats, decorating tips, Herman, humor, humour, lifestyle, products, relationships, technology | 2 Comments

City Cat Summer Camp

I don’t know about you, but it’s hot enough here to shave a Maine coon cat.  Hot enough to give a cat a bath.   But why go to such extremes during such extreme temperatures?  It is much better to simply send your cats to camp, where swimming, running through the sprinklers, and riding horseback will give kitty all the cool stimulation he could want, and without the messy razor residue.

Ask yourself, what kind of city cat summer camp fits into your busy summer schedule?  Does the Fluffster need a basic day camp to tramp through the parklands, make friends and mud pies, build forts and chase flags? Or does your cat prefer to feed his own special creative habit?  If so, possibly explore a specialty camp, like cool cat-art camp or kitty outward bound. The possibilities are endless when you make them up yourself as you go along!

Whatever camp you choose for your cats, the important thing to do is remember to always wake up every morning and get your cats ready for another day of fun.  Do this and everyday will be a huge success.  I hope this helps clarify matters during this thought-smashing heat.  Thanks for your time, and as always, feel free to please share your cat’s own summertime aspirations and pursuits, if you like.

Waking up to another hard day.

 

 

 

Categories: cats, humor, humour, lifestyle | Leave a comment

LAX Cat Fingerprinting: A Simple Hoax or Sign of the Times?

Cat airline travel, formerly a feline right of passage, may soon go the way of the Hindenberg, if what the lady from Southwest says is true.

In a recent phone conversation with my partner Hank, the Southwest lady said the airlines are “straying away” from companion animal travel on their passenger planes.  I swear, that’s what she said and that’s the words she used.

This news comes as a major shock to me.  It just can’t be true.  How are Brody and Herman ever going to see Niagara Falls, the Big Apple, and the remnants of the Berlin Wall if they can’t fly?

Anyway, maybe it’s not true, because I just read another story about how incredibly misinformed some airline employees are about cats and travel.  In fact, as it turns, one new worker was actually telling folks they would have to get their cat fingerprinted if it traveled through Los Angeles International Airport.  Read about it here.

Well, I obviously need to get to the bottom of this one.  How about you, do you find that the airlines are “straying away” from pet travel, or has your little kitten been wracking up the free flyer miles no problem visiting a hot little Persian they met in Miami?

I’d love to hear what the real story is for jet-setting kitties, and the people who pack for them.

Categories: Brody, cats, Herman, humor, humour, lifestyle, news, travel | Tags: , , , | 3 Comments

Got a License to Cat?

In East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, there’s a lot of cats.  How many cats? Well, this sentence from the local paper might illustrate:

According to [animal control], scenes of cats roaming around town are more than a usual occurrence in East Longmeadow.

Yes, those roaming-cat scenes, played out more than usually.  Wait, what?  More than usual, for what?  Who is to say what a usual occurrence of roaming-cat scenes is?  What does this tortured sentence mean, and is it going to lead to other tortured sentences, like kitty behind bars?

Okay, sure, this is a serious topic.  All kitties need to get their shots, I suppose, whether they be Tommy B. Homekitty or Felicity Free-Me-or-I’ll Freak Feral.  But if the Universe had meant for kitty to need a license, couldn’t it have furnished him with a neat little back pocket? 

Anyway, animal licenses are so dog.   If we start licensing cats, I think we need to find a way to felinize the entire process.  I’m not sure what that would look like, but the best minds of our generation should be able to come up with something.

Categories: cat v. dog, cats, humor, humour, lifestyle, news | Tags: | Leave a comment

Theater and Cats DO Mix!

Those serious Sioux City thespians are leading the way to a whole new vision in cat-theater futures.  The Sioux City Journal reports today that if you bring a can of cat food to the theater for the play Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, it’s as good as a ticket.  Proceeds go to the local humane society. 

You can bring other cat stuff as well to serve as your admission price, just don’t bring your cat — contemporary theater for now remains wholly unprepared for cat-inclusive audiences and will need to surmount obvious technological barriers before that dream is realized.

Categories: cats, humor, humour, lifestyle, money, news, play, PR, relationships, synergy, theater | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Blitzcat: The Cat Who Fought Hitler

book cover of   Blitzcat   by  Robert Westall

 

“A black cat. A nation in danger. A world at war.”

That’s the back cover copy on my copy of Blitzcat, a book about one of the bravest and most loyal warrior cats in all of literature.  This cat didn’t just do her normal cat work of keeping people’s spirits propped up in war-ravaged England. No, little Lord Gort had to cross England looking for her person, changing lives and become a fighter-pilot cat on her way, among her many anti-fascist exploits. 

Although it seems unlikely that a war story based on a cat will end up well, Blitzcat pulls you in faster than a pawful of claws, and soon you will be fully behind the story’s main character, the black cat Lord Gort, who proves that a cat authentically-drawn can carry the central role in a novel narrative.  Bravo to author Robert Westall for giving the world a truly-great feline literary figure for the ages, and for all ages.  Don’t let the Young Adult sticker fool you, Blitzcat is plenty appreciated by young and old alike.

Got a favorite cat in literature?  Drop a comment below so all us cat-loving readers can check it out. 

Categories: books, cats, history, humor, humour, jobs & careers | Tags: , | 9 Comments

Best Jazz Album Name Ever

Mike SternDo I need to tell you how great to have a cat actually playing guitar on the cover of Who Let the Cats Out?  Cats are a lot more musical than we imagine, if they can just calm down and not run out of the room when someone starts to teach them. 

Mike Stern’s Who Let the Cats Out is clearly among the great jazz album names that include cats in the name.  I’m not entirely familiar with all the cat jazz album titles in the world, so make sure to remind me with comments of the many I will probably miss.

I like that Who Let the Cats Out is both a funny riff and so very true.  Because we all heard Who Let the Dogs Out, but the truth is dogs that get let out are far easier to find than cats who get let out. An out cat can’t hardly be found if he wants to be, which he usually doesn’t.

Naturally, Who Let the Cats Out is a jazz album. If cats were a musical genre, they would be jazz.  And if cats played music, they’d play jazz.  My cat Brody plays the keyboard, and it’s improvisation at a very pure level.  No technique, knowledge, or musical score can impede him when he starts tickling the ivories.

Categories: Brody, cats, humor, humour, lifestyle, play, products, synergy | 2 Comments

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