In East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, there’s a lot of cats. How many cats? Well, this sentence from the local paper might illustrate:
According to [animal control], scenes of cats roaming around town are more than a usual occurrence in East Longmeadow.
Yes, those roaming-cat scenes, played out more than usually. Wait, what? More than usual, for what? Who is to say what a usual occurrence of roaming-cat scenes is? What does this tortured sentence mean, and is it going to lead to other tortured sentences, like kitty behind bars?
Okay, sure, this is a serious topic. All kitties need to get their shots, I suppose, whether they be Tommy B. Homekitty or Felicity Free-Me-or-I’ll Freak Feral. But if the Universe had meant for kitty to need a license, couldn’t it have furnished him with a neat little back pocket?
Anyway, animal licenses are so dog. If we start licensing cats, I think we need to find a way to felinize the entire process. I’m not sure what that would look like, but the best minds of our generation should be able to come up with something.