Are you like me? Do you dream of training your cat to use the toilet? Or is the subject of your salivation one of those fancy litter-flushing contraptions that promise to put an end to the great tootsie-roll treasure hunt?
Well, the dream is off, everyone. Apparently, of all the things you can put down a toilet, cat crap is where we as civilized people and cat lovers must draw the line.
That’s because of all the foul stuff that gets flushed down the crapper, cat crap is beyond even the beyond. How is that possible, you ask? By what cruel twist of fate could it be that little Foofie’s poops are so much worse than even our own?
Well, the marine biologists have spoken, and they think flushed cat crap is killing sea otters, or rather, the parasite it carries, Toxoplasma gondii, is. In fact, even Governor Terminator is on cat poop’s case, signing a California law warning consumers that dumping cat litter into toilets or storm drains may harm otters.
So while my dream of scolding the cat for leaving the seat up is all in vein, I am glad I didn’t already take the trouble to potty-train kitty, an activity I was neither looking forward to nor confident I could even accomplish. Fortunately, I discovered before I tried that this cat toilet usage is, if not the incarnation of evil itself, at very minumum plainly and totally not okay. Especially when you consider how cats and otters are so closely related in the grand scheme of things.
(Not that it would be okay if, for example, otters happened to be more closely-related to dogs. Even if at times I seem to suggest that dogs are spoiled media-darlings, I would never take that petty squabble out on a hapless and very cat-like otter. Also, some of my best frenz have been dogz.)
So for now, unfortunately, we’re stuck with litter-cleaning the old-fashioned way, which in my house pretty much means Hank is doing it. That is, until one of them big cat-litter robot manufacturers gets a looksie at this here Website, then I figure me and Hank’ll have more litter-cleaning robots than we’ll know what to do with! We may need to reprogram one of them to make the coffee, or something.