I don’t want you to think this is 1984 or anything, but I do get to see the search terms that some of you use to arrive at Self Help for Cats. By far and wide the number one topic you all want to know about is what to do when your cats go crazy at night.
Apparently Self Help for Cats has uncovered an epidemic wherein everyday, cat people around the planet wake up and blearily start searching the Internet with terms like, “cat night crazies,” “cat freaks out at night,” and my favorite, just searched on yesterday: “cat ruining house at night.”
Now I sure don’t mind the traffic, because frankly right now Self Help for Cats is still a boutique operation minus the boutique, for sure. And I’m honored to be sought as a source of help and advice. What I need to clarify, however, is that the Self Help for Cats program is not really about helping you get a good night sleep — that will merely be one of the fantastic, amazing side effects of the Self Help for Cats plan, along with things like health, wealth, and eternal bliss.
So don’t expect a lot of practical, boring, labor-intensive remedies that you will find on other sites. Wake them at this time, feed them at that — I’m sure it’s all well and good, and I even provide a link to such an earnest and thought-out program in my own first piece here on the topic.
But understand, Self Help for Cats is not about how to put kitty to bed on your schedule. Rather, the entire Self Help for Cats program is about corralling that wild, innate entrepreneurial energy you see running itself rampant about 1 am, and using it to shake up the world and create something totally new and utterly great!
Of course, once you cat is a major success, he or she is no longer going to want to bug you all night long, it almost goes without saying.
Tune in soon for our next feature on this topic: The Mattress: Invented by Cat to Torment Man? Our hard hitting reporter will examine whether humans used to sleep on their feet like horses until cats trained them to lie horizontally, and be completely at their mercy for eight hours a day.