As with all tax questions, the answer is a definite maybe! Any tax expert will tell you that you can deduct anything you want, but whether you get a call later from Uncle Sam’s tax cat, well, that be another story.
The good news is, there’s a precedent for tax deducting one’s cat, if only one can discover the proper job title for the animal. Case in point, artist Joan Brown, who was able to tax deduct the entire salary and benefits package of her cats simply by placing them in her paintings and claiming them as her feline muses.
For those of us who don’t happen to make our living as famous painters, there are other ways to slip kitty onto one’s Schedule C. You could make kitty your company mascot, paste his face on all your business documents, or even name your company after your cat. This may work better for some industries than others. Fuzzymoto’s Funeral Home. Fang Face’s Plastic Surgery Services. Hairball’s Haircuts. You get the idea.
But this is only the beginning of cat’s future deductibility, according to the Self Help for Cats plan. As felines become ever-more-productive members of society, eventually the IRS will just have to accept their legitimate contributions and offer them the same income tax breaks and advantages that humans have enjoyed for decades.
Small print message: The writer is hardly a cat tax expert, so please don’t sue her.