Cats: The 9500 Year Old Answer to Rats at Taco Bell

The rats at KFC/Taco Bell video points up the fact that cats have been alienated from their job-by-nature: The decimating of rodents attracted to human food resources. Normally, cats would have long ago vanquished that rodent population right out of Bell-ville.

In fact, a few enthusiastic cat volunteers saw the rat story on the TV news and said “Let us at those rat bastards,” in so many cat words.

But send in the cats and you contend with cat germs instead of rat germs, and regulation wonks with their anti-cat-in-restaurant laws have already shown that rat germs are clearly the policy-preferred. Rats in turn love us so much, they are practically domestic animals. Only they harvest off of us instead of vice versa. The nerve.

Yet if it wasn’t rats filling that niche, it might be something worse, like giant nasty spiders, so let’s go with rats, because rats keep cats in business – for now.

That’s right, even rats cannot last forever (no industry does no matter how stable). And the disturbing trend now is not to replace jobs or retrain, but rather a growing alienation between cats and work itself. Self Help for Cats, the book, offers alternatives to this latest human experiment-in-lives that has already played itself out in no doubt a lot of lost time and inefficiency on the part of some perfectly good and talented individuals – our list-less, goalless cats!

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Categories: cats, humor, news, the book | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Cats: The 9500 Year Old Answer to Rats at Taco Bell

  1. Reading your blog gives me an explanation for the gratuitous violence displayed my resident moggy. Borg; my cat has for some time been upping the dog bashing routine, and a few days ago punished me for some alleged infraction. I’m sure he knows if he sleeps on my head, I wake up with a throat as wide as a pinhole.
    I could only pronounce lowercase vowels for days, like a midget Treebeard ‘ooaaoaoooaa’. So I’ll talk to him about ‘work alienation’ and sleep with my head under the pillow. No !! on reflection I had better not.

  2. Yes, dog bashing, that’s unacceptable — the cats should leave that to me, their self-appointed press agent.

    It sounds like Borg is a perfect candidate for the as-yet-unreleased Self Help for Cats program. But because I am a humanitarian, and more importantly, a feline-itarian, I will share with you a secret of the plan. If your cat is seriously alienated from work, the first step is to start with a serious plan for play. I know, it sounds illogical get to work through play. You will just have to keep reading for a full explanation. I promise you, I am actually a very logical, reasonable person and it will all come to make perfect sense.

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