Greed & Cats: Can Felines Adapt to Global Capitalism?

Among cats’ not-so-admirable qualities, it is generally agreed upon that greed is missing in action. Cats don’t typically fight over food, like dogs might. They may tussle over who gets the best sleep spot, true, but many are just as happy to share it.

Yet despite this apparent deficiency, I’m here to assure you that it’s never too late to turn things around and instill a little old-fashioned greed into your cat, and give them half a chance in the Real World.

The key to awakening your cats’ inner hunger and ambitions is to find out what motivates them. Turns out what motivates Brody, our tabby of Maine Coon descent, is a little yellow powder known as nutritional yeast. I don’t know if it’s the slightly-cheesy flavor or the way it makes him feel, but Brody shows a remarkable focus for attaining it night and day. He is in fact quite obsessed.

His single-mindedness in the matter of this vitamin-laced gold dust is a thing to behold. Starting in the early morning until time for his humans to go back to sleep, Brody has yeast-earning on his mind. If yeast was money, Brody would be raking it in hand and fist.

Also notable, Brody shows none of the nonchalant “let’s share” attitude about yeast as he has about the kibble. He snarfs up his yeast fast as he can guzzle it, then moves in on his bro’s batch. Give him too much yeast and you will have a lake of yellow yeast vomit a few minutes later. Nutritional yeast is not kitty heroin as far as I can tell; Brody just acts like it were.

This heretofore unrecognized capacity for greed in cats bodes auspiciously for the species’ post-rodent future. If greed doesn’t give cats an edge in the current economy, nothing will.

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Categories: Brody, humor, humour, jobs & careers, money | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Greed & Cats: Can Felines Adapt to Global Capitalism?

  1. How about this for a cat with ‘remarkable focus’
    This fella wondered why his water bills could be so large
    and didn’t find out till he stayed home sick one day and heard water flushing and went to investigate.. anyway take a look at what he found..

    http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=cat+flushing+toilet

    paste the line above into the top of your browser and press enter

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