Those big black cats wandering around outer Reno  – don’t worry, they are only Puma’s, although their black fur may lead you to think they are panthers.  It’s cool, we have everything under control.  Just go back inside and go into lock-down mode and everything will be fine.

What cat said the Internet was good for nothing?  Someone tell that cat that everything has changed, and all the time humans waste tap tap tapping at their little screens isn’t completely useless after all.  Not when even a monumental day-waster like Facebook can reunite even one cat with their human, as it did this past Friday the 13th.

This single life-saving event completely justifies the millions of human hours spent social software-izing.  Now cats everywhere are ushering in a new era of computer-toleration by cats, for cats.  Today’s computer-savvy feline feels even less guilty sleeping the usual 25 to 27 hours a day while his human taps away….

I don’t know about you, but it’s hot enough here to shave a Maine coon cat.  Hot enough to give a cat a bath.   But why go to such extremes during such extreme temperatures?  It is much better to simply send your cats to camp, where swimming, running through the sprinklers, and riding horseback will give kitty all the cool stimulation he could want, and without the messy razor residue.

Ask yourself, what kind of city cat summer camp fits into your busy summer schedule?  Does the Fluffster need a basic day camp to tramp through the parklands, make friends and mud pies, build forts and chase flags? Or does your cat prefer to feed his own special creative habit?  If so, possibly explore a specialty camp, like cool cat-art camp or kitty outward bound. The possibilities are endless when you make them up yourself as you go along!

Whatever camp you choose for your cats, the important thing to do is remember to always wake up every morning and get your cats ready for another day of fun.  Do this and everyday will be a huge success.  I hope this helps clarify matters during this thought-smashing heat.  Thanks for your time, and as always, feel free to please share your cat’s own summertime aspirations and pursuits, if you like.

Cat airline travel, formerly a feline right of passage, may soon go the way of the Hindenberg, if what the lady from Southwest says is true.

In a recent phone conversation with my partner Hank, the Southwest lady said the airlines are “straying away” from companion animal travel on their passenger planes.  I swear, that’s what she said and that’s the words she used. 

This news comes as a major shock to me.  It just can’t be true.  How are Brody and Herman ever going to see Niagara Falls, the Big Apple, and the remnants of the Berlin Wall if they can’t fly?

Anyway, maybe it’s not true, because I just read another story about how incredibly misinformed some airline employees are about cats and travel.  In fact, as it turns, one new worker was actually telling folks they would have to get their cat fingerprinted if it traveled through Los Angeles International Airport.  Read about it here.

 Well, I obviously need to get to the bottom of this one.  How about you, do you find that the airlines are “straying away” from pet travel, or has your little kitten been wracking up the free flyer miles no problem visiting a hot little Persian they met in Miami?  

I’d love to hear what the real story is for jet-setting kitties, and the people who pack for them.

In East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, there’s a lot of cats.  How many cats? Well, this sentence from the local paper might illustrate:

According to [animal control], scenes of cats roaming around town are more than a usual occurrence in East Longmeadow.

Yes, those roaming-cat scenes, played out more than usually.  Wait, what?  More than usual, for what?  Who is to say what a usual occurrence of roaming-cat scenes is?  What does this tortured sentence mean, and is it going to lead to other tortured sentences, like kitty behind bars?

Okay, sure, this is a serious topic.  All kitties need to get their shots, I suppose, whether they be Tommy B. Homekitty or Felicity Free-Me-or-I’ll Freak Feral.  But if the Universe had meant for kitty to need a license, couldn’t it have furnished him with a neat little back pocket? 

Anyway, animal licenses are so dog.   If we start licensing cats, I think we need to find a way to felinize the entire process.  I’m not sure what that would look like, but the best minds of our generation should be able to come up with something.

Those serious Sioux City thespians are leading the way to a whole new vision in cat-theater futures.  The Sioux City Journal reports today that if you bring a can of cat food to the theater for the play Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, it’s as good as a ticket.  Proceeds go to the local humane society. 

You can bring other cat stuff as well to serve as your admission price, just don’t bring your cat — contemporary theater for now remains wholly unprepared for cat-inclusive audiences and will need to surmount obvious technological barriers before that dream is realized.

“A black cat. A nation in danger. A world at war.”

That’s the back cover copy on my copy of Blitzcat, a book about one of the bravest and most loyal warrior cats in all of literature.  This cat didn’t just do her normal cat work of keeping people’s spirits propped up in war-ravaged England. No, little Lord Gort had to cross England looking for her person, changing lives and become a fighter-pilot cat on her way, among her many anti-fascist exploits. 

Although it seems unlikely that a war story based on a cat will end up well, Blitzcat pulls you in faster than a pawful of claws, and soon you will be fully behind the story’s main character, the black cat Lord Gort, who proves that a cat authentically-drawn can carry the central role in a novel narrative.  Bravo to author Robert Westall for giving the world a truly-great feline literary figure for the ages, and for all ages.  Don’t let the Young Adult sticker fool you, Blitzcat is plenty appreciated by young and old alike.

Got a favorite cat in literature?  Drop a comment below so all us cat-loving readers can check it out. 

Do I need to tell you how great to have a cat actually playing guitar on the cover of Who Let the Cats Out?  Cats are a lot more musical than we imagine, if they can just calm down and not run out of the room when someone starts to teach them. 

Mike Stern’s Who Let the Cats Out is clearly among the great jazz album names that include cats in the name.  I’m not entirely familiar with all the cat jazz album titles in the world, so make sure to remind me with comments of the many I will probably miss.

I like that Who Let the Cats Out is both a funny riff and so very true.  Because we all heard Who Let the Dogs Out, but the truth is dogs that get let out are far easier to find than cats who get let out. An out cat can’t hardly be found if he wants to be, which he usually doesn’t.

Naturally, Who Let the Cats Out is a jazz album. If cats were a musical genre, they would be jazz.  And if cats played music, they’d play jazz.  My cat Brody plays the keyboard, and it’s improvisation at a very pure level.  No technique, knowledge, or musical score can impede him when he starts tickling the ivories.

Here’s a cat calendar that’s cool in myriad ways. First of all, it’s called “Cat Lovers Against the Bomb,” and if that weren’t already the bomb, then get ready for your dough to go to both cats and peace. That is, if you buy it at the Stray Cat Alliance. 

I like this calendar enough to pay full price.   My very favorite is January’s picture of a cat out walking in the snow.

>>This site offers more info about the calendar, which has been published now for 25 years.

My cats love green stuff.  They adore catnip and wheatgrass.  They love to gnaw my houseplants and always find the lettuce in my grocery bag.  You could say green is their color, so it was only fair I brought back something for them from the Green Festival, a yearly pro-environmental fair which happens to be my favorite place on the planet to spend my green.

Cats in general need to green-up their acts, or rather, their people do.  This story on the San Francisco Chronicle’s website points out that cats can be as bad for the environment as anyone, so it’s a good idea to educate cats and their people on the effects of some of their choices.  Fortunately, what’s good for the environment is usually good for cats, like purchasing food with less additives from more-responsible producers.  

My Green Fest cat gift is another great example.  Dye-free, made from all natural materials, no plastic whatsoever, this hand-made mouse toy made by Purrfect Play was worth a little more green than your average mouse toy.  Not only because I got to support someone who is working to reduce my cats’ carbon paw print (i.e. kitties’ planetary impact), but because of how much my cats like this product.  Of course, the real product testing at the Self Help for Cats labratory is always conducted by the cats themselves.

Upon awakening in the morning, I presented Brody with the green mouse (actually white and tan), and to my surprise, it must be stuffed with some very powerful catnip (organic, of course).  Well, Brody went nuts - he immediately bit deeply into the mouse and lost his head, digging pointlessly into the sheets with a wild stare and flipping his body about as if trying to remove his fur suit over his head, feet first.  The verdict — Brody give two fangs up for the Purrfect Play mouse, which was immediately saturated in cat drool at a heretofore unheard of rate.

So you see, cats really do dig green stuff.  With enough organic catnip mice, cats will be well on their way to saving the planet in the most entertaining fashion the world has ever known.

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If you liked this post, you might also enjoy reading how cats can help sea otters in Kitty Toilet Training a Dream No More.